EPISODE 7: THE METAL MISSIONARY
EPISODE 7: THE METAL MISSIONARY
...VINYL MINT and FILTHY DOG took 2 empty suitcases and headed towards the airport of Heraklion. On their way to the airport VINYL MINT noticed a poster hanging outside a hair salon and stopped to read it. VINYL MINT, astonished, freezed in front of the poster. That poster motivated people to donate their hair. As FILTHY DOG realized that this poster had an impact on VINYL MINT he explained to her:
"Many people among us fight against a terrible disease, and lose their hair during this battle. People with long and healthy hair can donate it for others who need it."
VINYL MINT looked at her hair. She had beautiful long hair and loved to shake it during her crazy headbanging moments. Although she always thought that her long hair perfectly completes her heavy metal outfit, that moment, she suddenly realized that her metal heart makes her a True Metaller, not her long hair. So she quickly made a braid with her hair and without thinking twice she grabbed her jackknife and cut it. She entered the hair salon, she placed her long braid on a table in front of a mirror and she left to continue her way to the airport.
The 2 friends finally reached the airport of Heraklion. As Heraklion is a famous tourist destination the airport was extremely populous at that day and they had to wait for hours for their flight due to a long delay. But that wasn't a problem for them: FILTHY DOG was organizing their trip in Berlin by writing down the record stores that they would visit while VINYL MINT, was enjoying listening on her walkman to a cassette compilation of her favorite German metal bands, that she especially prepared for the specific trip.
After a 3-hour-flight they finally reached Berlin!!! The weather in Berlin was much colder in comparison with the hot weather of Crete, but it was for sure a beautiful city. As a true old school guy, FILTHY DOG grabbed a paper city map from a board and they started roaming in the streets of Berlin...
The two friends spent their day walking around the city visiting all the famous tourist attractions, eating ''Currywurst mit Pommes'' and speaking constantly about German metal bands. As FILTHY DOG was analysing to VINYL MINT why he can't decide if he prefers Accept or Running Wild, somewhere along the Berliner Mauer, a girl stopped in front of FILTHY DOG and started screaming fired with enthusiasm:
"Oh my God, you are FILTHY DOG, the hottest drummer in the world". The crazy groupie grabbed FILTHY DOG and gave him a hot wet kiss.
VINYL MINT felt disgust because of the fluid exchange that was taking place in front of her. After the kiss, the groupie stared at VINYL MINT and said: "I think that I recently saw you on a "reissue" video, are you an actress?" VINYL MINT then felt that it was time to introduce herself again: "I am VINYL MINT, the Mistress from 68-Leto. I am a tourist on Earth and an intergalactic vinyl collector. I like only the original version of anything, so I could never be in a ''reissue'' video. As I am one of a kind, I can only assume that someone was dressed like me for the Earthlings' Halloween. Anyway, who are you?" The groupie then answered: "I am just a Missionary of Metal, I travel to every corner of the Earth in order to spread True Metal worldwide". That answer made FILTHY DOG start asking her a few exploratory questions just like at a job interview:
FILTHY DOG: Mother, Mother fuc*er?
METAL MISSIONARY: Slauter Xstroyes, USA
FILTHY DOG: Tiempos Metalicos?
METAL MISSIONARY: V8, Argentina
FILTHY DOG: Vai Vai?
METAL MISSIONARY: Strana Officina, Italy
FILTHY DOG: Mion's Hill?
METAL MISSIONARY: Sabbat, Japan
FILTHY DOG: Play to win?
METAL MISSIONARY: The one and only: NICK BANGER, Greece.
FILTHY DOG: Come together!
METAL MISSIONARY: The Beatles, UK
FILTHY DOG: No, I mean, come with us!
The METAL MISSIONARY joined them and all together they headed towards Kreuzberg. In the first record store they found only German and, generally, European Schlagers. VINYL MINT got a bit disappointed. FILTHY DOG bought for VINYL MINT a record of Peter Schilling with a song that says "Voellig Losgeloest Von Der Erde" as a souvenir gift from Germany, so that VINYL MINT remembers forever their trip to Germany after she leaves the Earth. He also bought a record with the title "Spargo" on it.
VINYL MINT asked him: "What's this?"
FILTHY DOG answered: "I don't know, but it seems to be very precious".
VINYL MINT: ''Wait a second, I will ask IRIS about its rarity''.
FILTHY DOG then said: ''No, I will search for information about it when I get home, my rarity-search-ritual includes my chair, coffee and cigarettes...''
At that moment VINYL MINT realized that the record ritual for FILTHY DOG was more important than the record itself. After they left the first store, they met a local metalhead named Oliver. They asked him where they could find cool metal stuff and he advised them to visit an underground store. The 3 friends went there following the local man's directions. FILTHY DOG, who could check the records faster than a cash counter counts the money, found a real black-colored diamond and gifted it to VINYL MINT: With the MANOWAR single DEFENDER in her hands, VINYL MINT was now sure that Germany would be a paradise full of True Heavy Metal stuff.
They also found Gotham City, Rhoads and Trance in the same store.
Afterwards they visited a flea market where they met an ex-metalhead who had become an electrohead and he wanted to replace his old metal records with electro stuff. He gifted VINYL MINT the "BREAKER - Dead Rider" LP because he liked her as the looks of VINYL MINT brought him "Albedo" to mind .
Generally, they visited every record store in Berlin until they gained enough records in order to fully fill their 2 empty suitcases: VINYL MINT was in ecstasy while touching the mint records of DEEP THROAT, LOOSE CONNECTION, DEATH WARRANT, ASMODINA, NYTEMARE and many many more...
The nightlife in Berlin was also GEIL. They went to metal live shows, to rock bars and the last night they ended up somewhere in Friedrichshain listening to metal and swallowing tons of beer as if they were kitchen sinks.
Drunk as hell, yelling ''prost'' again and again the METAL MISSIONARY suggested that they follow her to her next destination, Budapest. VINYL MINT and FILTHY DOG accepted her invitation and they sent their suitcases to Crete via post. In order to join her on the road to Hungary, they just had to find a motorbike...
(to be continued...)