03 Dec


After a long flight full of adventures and new experiences due to her coexistence with the Earthlings, VINYL MINT arrives in Ιraklion, the biggest city on the island of Crete. As her digital local maps couldn’t be updated due to a temporary technical problem, she had to ask for directions again. The main problem that she had to confront on Crete was the fact that her automatic digital language translator could not recognize the language that the Cretans speak. Their language was something like Greek with Italian accent and that made her digital translator get confused. So every time that she asked the local citizens for directions she couldn't understand what people answered.                     

Suddenly, VINYL MINT saw three old men sitting around a small table, while playing their traditional musical instruments and drinking a liquid like ethanol. VINYL MINT felt that the sound of the Cretan music was impaling her ear drums just like a drill would do.  When she came closer to them in order to ask for directions they stopped playing their music. Due to her strange appearance they understood that she was a foreigner. One of them could speak some English words and asked her while tactlessly pointing with his finger:  

“You? Name? From where?”  

VINYL MINT answered: “I am VINYL MINT, I come from the 68 Leto Asteroid.” 

The Cretan guy could not understand what exactly she was saying, so he told her: “Drink Raki!”  

IRIS explained to VINYL MINT that the Cretans have the tradition to welcome their tourists by offering them their traditional alcohol drink which is called “Raki”. She also noted that it can be very offensive for them if the visitor doesn’t drink it. VINYL MINT told them that it tastes like the fuel that she uses for her flying motorcycle, but all of them were too drunk to get offended. So after about 20 glasses of Raki, she left the loudmouth Barbarians with the torturous Cretan music and started walking in the streets searching for Filthy Dog.  

As she was walking at the area of the old Venetian Port and the Venetian Fortress she suddenly saw a city info map!  

According to the map the address she was looking for was near the Morosini Fountain, where the water comes out from the mouth of four marbled lions. She walked until she found the Lions.  

Now it was a piece of cake for her to find the right address. And finally she did. She took the elevator that got her on the second floor of a block of flats. Standing outside the door she listened to that fucking awesome song of Retrosatan coming behind the closed apartment door:

Now she knew that she was at the right place. She saw the name that she was searching for on the doorbell: “FILTHY DOG”. As she rang the bell, an old-school Heavy Metal guy with a large Motörhead tattoo on his leg, smoking a cigarette while holding another lit cigarette in his hand, opened the door. 

As he saw her, he said: 

"The Playstation Nerds live upstairs. Now fuck off!” and he slammed the door. 

VINYL MINT rang the doorbell again. When he opened the door this time, VINYL MINT told him:  “I am looking for the FIRE AND STEEL LP. Can you help me find it?”  

Those 4 magic words were enough in order for FILTHY DOG to realize that the strange woman was one of Them, so he welcomed her to his place. 

FILTHY DOG: Who are you? 

VINYL MINT: I am VINYL MINT. I am the Mistress from 68-Leto-Asteroid. Your friend, TORMENTOR, told me that you could help me find the LP. 

As FILTHY DOG always had the belief that extraterrestrials do exist, he was very happy for that unexpected visitor. So, without thinking twice he told her: “I will help you find it. However, I want some things in exchange.” 

VINYL MINT: OK, tell me! 

FILTHY DOG: First of all, I want you to clean all my 4000 Records and put them in alphabetical order. By the way how big is your record collection? 

VINYL MINT: I have 792017 records, most of them are from Saturn. There is a fucking awesome heavy metal scene there. 

FILTHY DOG: Wow, they are too many! Have you enough space for them at home?  

VINYL MINT: Yes I do. However as they are getting more and more I am thinking of buying a property on Earth in order to put them. The temperatures here are better for the records’ health. 

VINYL MINT replaces her bike gloves with her special silk gloves and approaches the record collection of FILTHY DOG. She chooses at random the METAL MERCHANT EP and feels disgust. Astonished she exclaims:  “THIS IS NOT MINT!!!” 

FILTHY DOG: Yeah most of my records are secondhand, but all of them ORIGINAL and in a very good condition. 

VINYL MINT:…Holy shit! Was Nyah here? Why do you have a photo of her? (VINYL MIND is pointing a poster on the wall.)

FILTHY DOG: Oh, that’s a movie poster…!!! What do you mean??? Is she real!!!??? 

VINYL MINT: Of course, she is real. I personally know her, she comes from Mars but she is on Jupiter at the moment searching for men… Anyway, tell me now some things about your filthy, smelly collection…

(to be continued…) 

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